Past Sermon

Sermon Title: "Blessings for the Downtrodden "
Date: February 3, 2008
Minister: Rev. Charles E. Ensley, Jr.

Lesson:  Matthew 5:1-12

I have three sermon requests to share today—one dealing with family stress, one dealing with loneliness while finding a life mate, and one dealing with motivation around time of retirement.  Since none of these are particularly religious issues, nor specifically addressed in the Bible, I’ve kind of let them sift toward the bottom of my pile of sermon requests.  However, they are all valid human issues, which any of us might deal with in our day-to-day lives.  When I looked at our Gospel reading for today, I thought there were some ways the Beatitudes could speak to people in these situations, which I hope to show by the end of this sermon.

1)  Sermon request:  “How to have patience when dealing with family.  Stress with our family members.”

I have no idea what the requester’s family situation is.  Are they driven crazy by small children?  Are there problems with a teenager?  Is a spouse dealing with an addiction, infidelity, or laid off from a job?  Are too many other relatives weighing in with their opinion of how this family ought to be handling whatever stress they are facing?

This request may have stayed near the bottom of the pile had I not received this prayer card a Sunday or two ago:  “For my mother, sister, and brother-in-law to get past their anger and pain; for all three to forgive one another and for Jesus to mend their broken hearts.”

I should offer full disclosure and a disclaimer here:  I am not a licensed family counselor.  However, as a simple parish pastor, I have had any number of individuals or family members come in to see me over the past 35 years to share what’s troubling them and to get some perspective from a neutral third party.  I’m also an inveterate reader of newspaper advice columnists Dear Abby, Ask Amy, Carolyn Hax and the late Ann Landers.  They have presented to them a host of human situations, many of which I’ve seen played out in the lives of the very people I’m called to minister to. 

Speaking from the advice I’ve given, and from my own personal experience, the first thing one needs to do is face reality.  Whatever the problem is, it is unlikely it will just dry up and disappear.  You need to address the issue with those concerned, and that means by talking.  Maybe it’s you talking to them, several of you having an intervention with someone in trouble, or getting the professional services of a qualified counselor who can help you identify and address the issues.  You need to ask for help in order to receive help.  I can’t tell you how many people have told me they began to feel better just by making an appointment to get help; and I can tell you from my own personal experience that happens to be true.

You may find it helpful to share your burden with someone you can trust to keep a confidence.  A burden shared is a burden that is lighter to carry.  There is always the possibility that they may see a side of the issue you are blind to.  There are a wealth of self-help groups and Twelve-Step programs for many problems individuals and families face.  Our church hosts two Al-Anon meetings and a Cocaine Anonymous meeting each week, and our Grief Share program has just started a new series for those living with the loss of a loved one.  You will find that whatever problem you face has already been dealt with by someone else.

You also need to pray.  Pray alone; ask others to pray; write it on a prayer card so you will hear it being prayed; welcome those who offer to put your concern on their church’s prayer chain.  God in Christ offers to help carry your burden, to seek out the lost, to heal the hurt, to comfort those who mourn.  The writer of this prayer card asks “Jesus to heal their broken hearts.”

2)  Sermon request:  “Finding the right life mate, and loneliness until you find him/her.”

How does one find the right life mate?  I met mine 36 years ago in my first church’s choir.  But that is frowned upon nowadays.  Ministers are discouraged from dating, engaging in relationships, or marrying their own parishioners.  The bar scene is not always a reliable place to seek a mate, and even relationships that begin in high school or college rarely result in marriage. 

Over the years, advice columnists have suggested getting active in your church or religious organization.  Volunteer for something.  Tell your friends you’re looking . . . and prepare yourself for all their well-meaning attempts to fix you up with blind dates! 

It is vitally important to seek out a person who shares common values with you.  One party who enjoys family get-togethers does not blend well with another who disdains family functions.

Some years ago, I asked a couple in their mid-thirties I was preparing to marry how they met.  They told me they were so busy in their professional careers they didn’t have the time or energy to go through the bar scene and possibly dating one loser after another.  They met through a video matching service.  They are still happily married 14 years later and have two lovely daughters.  I’m not going to be endorsing by name any particular internet matching service, but I’ve been told of two by some persons who found them effective in seeking a mate, because some of the matching of values, wants and desires is done for you.

As far as dealing with the loneliness until Mr. or Ms. Right comes along, I believe the solution is to keep yourself busy.  Again, taking part in other activities, or volunteer opportunities occupies your time, at the same time exposing you to a mix of other people.  Who knows who knows whom?

Finally, some people come to realize their life is okay the way it is.  They make peace with not finding a life mate, and live their lives on terms they are comfortable with.

3)  Sermon request:  “How to keep motivated when all around you are retiring.”

I can relate to this request.  In recent years, I had a seminary classmate tell me he was retiring at 55.  (Through family money and wise investments, he was able to afford that.)  Last summer, another classmate of mine retired at age 59; through his denomination’s retirement system, his retirement income was more than he was making at the little church he was serving!  He then went back to that same church as a retired pastor to serve them part time.  And just last week, a clergy colleague called to tell me, before I read it in his church’s newsletter, that he is retiring on Easter Sunday at the age of 63. 

Age 65 is no longer the gold standard retirement age.  For many reasons, some people choose to retire early.  And for just as many reasons, some people choose to blow right past that age and keep working until they are 70, 75, 80 or above.  What does that say to the rest of us who are still working, while some of our peers, colleagues and co-workers are exiting the work force?  Perhaps you’re discouraged to see those around you retire, when you’re not ready to stop, or you cannot yet stop at this point in your life.  How do we stay motivated?

Realize everyone’s timeframe is not the same.  Some are weary, tired, depressed or exasperated with their jobs.  Some are not ready to make the technological changes necessary in some businesses and professions.  Some have health or family reasons, or extenuating circumstances, which contribute to their decision to retire. 

Realize also you still have a contribution to make.  There are things you know how to do that others do not.  You might well represent a work ethic that is sorely lacking in some entering the workplace today.  At their job interviews, they are asking when they will get a raise, or a promotion!  You represent experience and stability in the place you work.  You might serve as a mentor or model to others.

Where do the Beatitudes intersect with today’s sermon requests?  Some of the most familiar and beautiful of Jesus’ words were spoken to his disciples and a crowd of people in what has come to be known as the Sermon on the Mount.  In each of the nine blessings, Jesus speaks to folks who experience some of the same longings that we heard in these sermon requests:  peace in a family, freedom from stress, loneliness, discouragement, feeling downtrodden, unappreciated, even worthless.  “Blessed are you…” he says over and over again.  And if you hear it enough, you begin to believe it.  “The poor in spirit… those who mourn… the meek… those who hunger and thirst for righteousness…”:  these are the persons Jesus seeks to touch with his message of love and mercy and understanding.

Family stress, looking for a life mate, motivation at retirement age—none of these issues are addressed in Biblical stories going back two-to-four thousand years:  a different culture, different times.  But just as passionately as Jesus offered a blessing to those around him, he still offers a blessing, hope and encouragement in every issue we face as Christians in the 21st century.